six feet under (2001)
director: Alan Ball
genre: drama
years: 2001-2005
seasons: 5
watched: nov-dec 2024 (1st time)
I just finished Six Feet Under, and I’m a little unwell.
I don’t think I’ve watched something so raw and intense in a while. And so here I am, writing about it.
I tend to write about things that impact me in a big way, but in this case, it’s not in the usual way. I’m not exactly filled with hope and inspiration right now. I’m pretty shaken up and uncomfortable.
But you know what they say… art isn’t supposed to make you feel comfortable. It’s supposed to make you feel something.
And this show made me feel a shitload.
Six Feet Under is one of the most daring piece of work I’ve come across. It’s disturbing, yet groundbreaking. It explores the human psyche in a very confronting way. If this series were shown in a movie theater, I imagine a few walk-outs because of its frank approach to the macabre.
Some parts can be soapy and unnecessary, but those moments don’t take away from the show’s brilliance. It’s also very Gen-X coded with its pessimism and "fuck-the-world" attitude.
In this piece, I’ll talk about the series in depth without giving away that much spoilers. If you haven’t watched the show, you’ll know by the end of this essay whether or not it’s worth your time. I don’t recommend it for everyone, but if you feel like it is for you, it might just be one of the most compelling shows you’ll ever watch.
The Story
Six Feet Under is about two brothers running their funeral home business, Fisher and Sons.
From the first episode, everything is already messed up: funeral director and father Nathaniel Fisher dies after being hit by a bus. The eldest brother, Nate, learns about it after having sex with a random stranger in an airport. The youngest sister, Claire, deals with the news after smoking crystal meth for the first time. The mother, Ruth, admits that she’s having an affair with a hairdresser. The other brother, David, is a closeted homosexual and is in a secret relationship with a black cop (the story is set in 2001).
That’s a lot for a pilot but it perfectly sets the tone for the entire series. We know what kind of characters we’re dealing with: kind of dysfunctional, kind of messed up. Given the story is set in a funeral home, we can also expect some really heavy themes: death, loss, and grief.
The Characters
I hope it’s not a spoiler when I say that these people aren’t the happiest bunch. Most of them feel lost, lonely, angsty, and confused.
But what human can’t relate to those types of feelings?
All of the characters have their insufferable moments, but I don’t find this to be a bad thing necessarily. To be human is to be cringey. The more intolerable, the more relatable.
For example, it’s annoying how Claire never stops whining about her life. But that’s only because she cares about doing something meaningful. It’s annoying how Brenda pretends to be above romantic relationships. But that’s only because of her crippling fear of intimacy. It’s annoying how dated and old-fashioned Ruth is. But that’s only because tradition gives her a sense of certainty and control.
All characters pose their own existential dilemmas, but underneath it all is the same thing: the search for happiness. A show does its job right when it mirrors our collective shadows, fears, and desires.
The last thing I’ll say about the characters is that they’re all well-written. But just because a character is well-written, it doesn’t mean they’re likable. They’re not. A lot of them have toxic and self-destructive traits that make you want to bang your head against the wall.
But at the end of the day, realness and complexity triumph over likability.
Dark Themes
Death, Loss, and Grief
Compartmentalizing death into a business is quite peculiar. Grooming the dead is neat and clean, but also ghoulish. If you’re going to watch this show, expect to learn about being a mortician than you ever cared to know.
Every episode starts with the death of a random person. It’s kind of strange to see how many ways a person can die. There are tragic deaths, sudden deaths, peaceful deaths, and really stupid deaths. Sometimes it’s hard to watch. Other times, I can’t help but laugh.
We think we’re immune to death until someone we know dies. The Fishers are faced with this reality every day. To them, death is a very ordinary thing.
It’s not to say it has become easy for them. It’s a distressing job to do business with people during the worst days of their lives. Neither do they have all the answers. No matter how many funerals they’ve conducted, Dave and Nate still say the wrong things to the grieving families.
Death can be a bummer. But if you deny death, you deny life. If you haven’t had much loss, watching this series makes you reflect on death and your underlying fears around it (not the best selling point, I know). If you’ve had many losses, Six Feet Under will hit close to home.
The show also portrays grief in a no-nonsense way. Anyone who has lost someone knows that grieving can make you feel like a crazy person. It also shows the struggles of living with someone who’s grieving. We know that grief is a natural process, but does anyone know how long grief lasts before it becomes a mental disorder? Do you get to tell someone they’ve been grieving for too long, or is that being an asshole?
Sexuality
It’s rare to watch an American TV series without sex in it. Even our favorite childhood shows were coded with sexual innuendos.
Six Feet Under is not any different. Although the writers of the show were permissive with sex, I don’t think they used it irresponsibly. So much of life is denying our nature. We deny sex almost as much as we deny death.
Homosexuality was also a theme. Considering that this show aired in 2001, it was bold to have one of the main characters be gay. Same-sex relationships weren’t as celebrated, and so I appreciate the writers for exploring it as much as they did. How they juxtaposed it with religion was also interesting to watch. It kind of reminds me of American Beauty.
Sex addiction was also touched on. Sex is weird enough to mention on its own… but sex addiction? Yikes. I don’t see many shows exploring this topic without doing a disservice to people who actually suffer from it. I don’t know anyone who’s had firsthand experience with this type of addiction, so I admire the risk they took to tackle something so taboo.
Trauma and Mental Illness
The show doesn’t shy away from how dark, unsympathetic, and selfish humans can get. There was one particular episode that was so hard to watch that I’m still feeling a little sick from it. It’s horrifying what kinds of trauma people go through and the aftereffects it has on their mental well-being. It makes you question why bad things happen to people who don’t deserve it.
Like homosexuality, mental illness was risky territory to dabble in during the early 2000s. At first, you judge the characters for their erratic and crazy behaviors. Over time, you gain more sympathy. If you really tap in, you see yourself in them. We’re all a little bit crazy and art helps us acknowledge our shared insanity.
Conclusion
I don’t know if I’m ever going to re-watch this show again, but my time with it was so worth it. Not only did show give me a more intimate relationship with death, I feel a little less naive about the horrors of our collective psyche. The series borders on doom and gloom more than love and light. However, if you pay close though attention, there are subtle hints of hope and mysticism.
I recommend Six Feet Under If you have the stomach for the darker side of humanity and love to revel on the existential aspects of life. It also has one of the best series finales I’ve ever seen in TV. It was surreal and emotional; tragic, yet beautiful. It choked me up and made me feel all kinds of things.
I’ll end this essay with a poem referenced in the show:
Our Death is Our Wedding with Eternity
“Our death is our wedding with eternity
What is the secret? "God is One."
The sunlight splits when entering the windows of the house.
This multiplicity exists in the cluster of grapes;
It is not in the juice made from the grapes.
For he who is living in the Light of God,
The death of the carnal soul is a blessing.
Regarding him, say neither bad nor good,
For he is gone beyond the good and the bad.
Fix your eyes on God and do not talk about what is invisible,
So that he may place another look in your eyes.
It is in the vision of the physical eyes
That no invisible or secret thing exists.
But when the eye is turned toward the Light of God
What thing could remain hidden under such a Light?
Although all lights emanate from the Divine Light
Don't call all these lights "the Light of God";
It is the eternal light which is the Light of God,
The ephemeral light is an attribute of the body and the flesh.
...Oh God who gives the grace of vision!
The bird of vision is flying towards You with the wings of desire.”
―Rumi
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